Steve:

We open with a fun music video about a dumb hick eager to move to the city, or to emigrate, and try to get all smart and sophisticated.

I like this song a lot better knowing what it’s about, and also because it has kind of an infectious, poppy chorus. It fits in well with the poppy/quasi-metal thing that’s been popular in Eurovision for a while, e.g. “Cha Cha Cha”. Otherwise, the music is less “my thing,” and yet it’s immediately stuck in my head. Backing vocals are nice. The piano coda is really lovely.

I’d have liked it more if it was in Croatian though.

Steve:

There’s nothing about this song that should elevate it above the masses of Eurotrash dance pop. It has a lot of derivative sounds. But, the production is modern, and it’s full of terrible derivative things that I like so, I can’t complain.

The lyrics are some generic stuff about how she should have known a dude was a liar.

The verses have a really nice shuffle to the beat.

I wonder if this song is going to bring back some “dance break” staging a la Noa and Chanel and all.

Steve:

The first victory is that Ireland has sent something interesting for once instead of their typical stuff that sounds like it could be repurposesd as contemporary christian music.

Positively psychotic. An electric switch from a screamy, whispery, feedback filled voices to an acoustic guitar and beat driven chorus, with a metal-influenced breakdown. I personally am looking forward to seeing some screaming on the Eurovision stage.

Steve:

As much as appreciate its uniqueness, it’s probably not a song I can see myself playing regularly.

Steve:

I like the lower-key opening of the song. I love that it’s in Lithuanian.

The synth arpeggios in the background during the quieter parts are definitely my thing, as are the build up. But the chorus and pre-chorus feel a bit too much like a generic dance floor hard-hitter for me to love it.

Steve:

Okay, I do like the “Luktelk” part, but like I am generally way more into the parts without the heavy dance beat.

Steve:

This gives me… Swedish 2010’s electropop vibes.

I was a little unsure at first about the chorus, with its sing-song rising notes, but y’know what, I’m just so sympathetic towards this type of electronic bop that it immediately got a pass from me. It’s a nicely produced, anthemic little bop, I guess with empowerment themes.

Steve:

We got a budget for this video! And we got some Serbian language. (Though I wish my language skills were better that I could get more lyrics than “Where”)

Yessss.

I want to go to wherever they shot this video because it looks beautiful.

Steve:

I feel like I’m torn between feeling like it’s boring and feeling that I liked it.

Steve:

The Serbian language, and part of the arrangement.

As is, it’s a nice slower, ballad-y number, and I could see some people liking it.

Steve:

From the subject matter, I was really expecting a boring, contemporary-christian sounding ballad. So, the thump thump thump thump of the kick drum, and dance-y (albeit slow) four on the floor beat are well-appreciated.

I love the ooohs, the choir elements, the chorus, and the rap which seems like it’s a bit out of left field.

Steve:

Oh yeah, their agreement expired, or whatever, but they were invited back. At least I heard that part of this song is in an aboriginal language.

Steve:

So, are you still gonna hate on Australia after that?

Steve:

My favorite elements were the ’90s dance piano and the didgeridoo in the background, and I wish there was more of it.

Steve:

Maybe it’ll switch…

Steve:

Well, if Azerbaijan wants to continue its non-qualification streak, it’s a decent contender.

I would like to say some positive things about the song though –

* laughter * Oh goodness, I can’t believe they cut to the guy in the back with an Akai pad controller hitting the pads as if he’s drumming live on it. That’s hilarious

– so I liked that they had some stuff in Azerbaijani, and I liked some of the vocal techniques on display.

Steve:

We are solidly back in ’90’s influenced, uptempo dance territory, and not a moment too soon!

I love the queer/empowerment elements of the song.

The final key change clinches it.

Steve:

That flew by too. Like, that felt like it was a minute long and not three. It was so fun.

Steve:

The YouTube comments savage this one, basically, saying “this sounds like a good entry… for Eurovision 2002!!” and – they’re not wrong.This is an uptempo pop number, with ye ol four to the floor beat and some soulful backing vocals.

Steve:

It does not have much staging going on.

Steve:

Yep, this sounds like a song you’d bop to in the car.

Steve:

I love the weird face-tapping choreography that opens this song. And, I love the French language. Tali seems likeable, and she brings good energy and mostly pleasant vocals.

The song feels a bit too flat for me, mostly sticking to the same reggaton-influenced beat. I like the bridge, and I feel like there are elements that work, but this is kinda boring.

Steve:

And here comes Moldolva, with a lot of short-haired blonde ladies, and some violins in the background. The track is building towards a dancey drop, but will it be enough?

Steve:

That was the most underwhelming violin solo I’ve ever heard in my life.

Steve:

Moldolva has been on a great streak of fun, memorable, crowd-pleasing entries, and this feels like a real break from that. The chorus in the performance sounds really off key, especially in the vocal pre-chorus refrain.

I’m not sure that I particularly liked it, even though I love the folky elements.

The violin performance was the most underwhelming thing I’ve seen today.

Steve:

Iolanda presents us with a acoustic-guitar driven, Portuguese language ballad. But oh man,there’sa lovely bloopy synth that comes in, and choral backing vocals with copious reverb. And pounding drums.

Wow, this hits all of the cliche “epic” buttons in a really nice way. And she has a tremendous voice. I’d say, “I hope she can hit those notes live,” but this is a live performance where she hits them.

Love the staging with the weird lacey masks on the backing dancers.It really helps elevate it.

I fucking loved that.

Steve:

We have another overwrought sing-fest. The thing about this one, though, is that I like the verses and the build up a lot, but the chorus really doesn’t resonate with me at all. Maybe it’s the subtitle lyrics that auto-displayed, or the ‘vrrrat’ vocal sounds, or something else. I’m not quite sure.

Steve:

This sounds like a lot of things that get radio airplay. The opening lines

“You try and set a fire
Just to watch me burn”

Just sends me back to “Love the Way You Lie.” The build sounds like anyone else’s generic empowerment song. But, like with some banjo.

I can’t not snort a bit at the "I’m a Titan in Disguise" hook.

Okay, but the crazy thing is, the instrumental is occasionally surprisingly dynamic. It picks up a lot nicer after the first chorus, before settling into genericness again. And the final chorus has a nice extra drive to its beat. But it’s forgettable as hell.

Steve:

This sounds exactly like the sort of music I would love to hear at a really fun dance party somewhere getting further east in Eurasia – it would give me Balkan brass vibes if it was further west.

I love that the song is in Armenian. I love the time signature. I love the music video’s vibe and energy. The band is super cute.

This is what I want to see more of in Eurovision.

Steve:

Austria has really been on a dance-heavy streak these last couple of years, and this is no exception.

I’m not sure how much I like the “dumb de dumb dumbs” in the pre-chorus, but I am certain I absolutely love the deeply necessary 303 solo.

The music video is a lot of fun if your idea of fun is watching Kaleen have her pick of buff, shirtless men.

Steve:

Yeah, this is a lot of fun, and a really well-executed dancey dance tune.

Steve:

It’s time for… you guessed it… another self-empowerment anthem. This one combines crunchy rock bass, a fairly uptempo rock beat, and a shouty chorus. It would definitely be a good dance song at the right kind of party.

I really like what’s here, but I feel like I find the chorus a tad underwhelming, and the song a bit too repetitive.

Steve:

I’m typically not too into Denmark’s entries. Will that change this year?

Steve:

I love how much I can tell we’re on the same page on this one. As soon as the first pre-chorus build hit, we exchanged a knowing glance of disappointment.

Because, the verses and initial build are nice enough, but the wannabe anthemic chorus kills the momentum and makes the song bland and cliched and unsalvageable.

Steve:

I feel like there were some elements that I might not love, or didn’t love at first, but the whole song was so nice. (These parts being, the hard-hitting-ness of the dance beat in the chorus, and the way some of the high notes in the beginning vocal part sounded through the TV speakers.)

But, I would really bop to this being played on a bus, or like, at a souvlaki shop.

The music video is a ton of fun, I love the representation of Athens and the Greek language, and this really feels like the complete package.

Oh, and I bet this one is also gonna have a “dance break.”

Steve:

I feel like we have so many uptempo bop numbers that I’m starting to… miss… the ballads.

Steve:

And I feel like the song’s theme of having your love on loop… reminds me of “Replay.”

It’s pretty well-produced, the choice of refrain allows for a lot of “ooo’s”, but I’m less into the 1-2-3-style of beat than others. So, it doesn’t quite hit my boxes.

Steve:

I love this song through and through. The only part I’m a little sketchy on is the “I’ve been to hell and back” in the chorus, but hey, it’s not my lived experience.

I love that this song features both rap and opera, because it’s a surefire way to alienate everyone who is musically prejudiced.

Steve:

The video opens a bit confusingly…it’s hard to tell if Mustii is in a glitter sauna or a discoteque dungeon. The camerea is happy to linger on his glistening body. Maybe he’s just getting ready for a really kinky party.

I feel like I really like the build up, of the verses, especially the synth in the lower register in the first verse, but again, this is one where the chorus falls flat. It just feels like it’s going in too low key of a direction.

And, alas, the song is bringing more Hooverphonic and less Gustaphe.

Steve:

We are firmly back in the territory of “songs I wouldn’t mind seeing win.” It’s got some really lovely lyre-link instrumentation, while sounding like something you could have a fun sort of dancey hoedown to. And it does it without sounding hokey at all. I’m not really describing it well.

The music video is a lot of fun too..

Steve:

We have yet another vocal powerhouse, hitting most notes at 100% in a repetitive, dancey number rhyming things like “thunder”/“stronger”/“forever”.

I was really hopingto see Nutsa rescue some cats from a tree, maybe give a lecture about the importance of fire extinguishers, or maybe be chasing after a big red truck…

Steve:

Obviously, you need an excuse to have them spray water on her shirt, though.

Steve:

I think she’s done a lot of competition show type things, so she can probably actually sing.

Steve:

Latvia’s music video looks like it was shot with a GoPro and a budget of about $20. It opens with a bald man playing the piano, while occasionally someone’s hands happen to be in the frame and grab him. He is sent to a quarry full of other bald men in blue tracksuits.

If the music video is representative of the staging, then I can picture Dons’ choreography. He will move as little as possible.

As for the song, it’s nice that we have a male-led slow ballad. It is, however, not remarkable in any way.

Steve:

If the definition of a Eurovision entry is a “song for Europe,” then this is one, with a strong message of pride for Europe, its many cultures, languages, and cuisines, and the ability of foilks to use the same currency and cross between countries without borders. It’s quite a political topic for the “no politics” rule, but that rule is applied with so many ouble standards.

Steve:

The pitch-shifted pa pa’s were my favorite part, the chorus was a lil too repetitive, but it’s a lovely tune.

Steve:

Fuck yeah! They have a keyed violin!? I love that.

Steve:

Yeah, but ilke Norwegian eavanesence. I love the drum fill before the chorus, and then like the rest in the instrumentation. And their singer can really croon.

Steve:

Two observations:

1. This is probably better than the last two rock songs San Marino sent, but it’s a low bar.
2. The band seems to think that being dressed like a 2003-era punk is the most salacious thing imaginable. Which it isn’t, but I enjoyed when they were briefly in their unicorn onesies, and if they wore those for the whole video I’d be so much more inclined to let this underwhelming song slide.

Steve:

Well, yeah, you might forget what they were otherwise.

Steve:

Honestly, the main riff sounds like something I could program into my Korg Volca Bass, but like something I wouldn’t use because I thought it was too simple and repetitive.

Steve:

I mean, it’s inoffensive, but it doesn’t grip me in any way.

Steve:

We find ourselvesare in firm male piano ballad territory, with some nice emotive high notes. The question, then, is whether the track builds to an emotional catharsis, or at least has a nice drop.

Steve:

I liked it. I think it built roughly to a nice emotional catharsis. The piano was tasteful; the singing, excellent.

Steve:

“I am nothing but the average” is not a good line to open your Eurovision track with.

We’ve got a sort of power pop tune with powerful male vocals. It’s a bit generic, but tasteful. I feel like the verses have a couple bass notes I like, and the final build up is really nice and layered. It’s a well-produced track, and it’s nice that it changes things up instead of being totally same, same, even though it’s kind of generic and forgettable.

Steve:

Yeah, I liked that a lot. It was impeccable.

Steve:

I liked the hyperpop elements of it, and it only makes me wish it were more hyperpoppy.

Steve:

I really don’t need this video to make me this dizzy.

Steve:

So, I can absolutely hear Danny L Harle in the arpeggios, but it’s certainly not enough to make me love the song. I just don’t like Alexander’s voice that much, and the refrain “won’t you make me dizzy for your kisses” literally makes no sense.

I liked the bridge and the final chorus, and parts of the production, but I’m really underwhelmed.